Deadly Life and Lively Death
by LovelyAngelYuuki
Summary: He was the personification of all that is evil and forbidden in the world of mages. She was a little and innocent kid who surprisingly had the power to make up for his sins, Will Zeref accept the salvation she was offering him or will he refuse in order to protect her life and innocence? And how will Lucy react once she knows his decision? (NOT A LOLICON STORY!)
1. Empty Utopia

**Author's Note: **Yuuki~desu! Waaah. I can't believe I actually wrote this down. Inspiration for this story came to me in a dream, day after I saw a beautiful Zeref amv. Hope you will like this story... Enjoy!

**Chapter 1: Empty Utopia**

He concentrated only on walking. He didn't pay attention to thorns tearing at his clothes and exposed skin.

He had to get away. Somewhere safe. Somewhere silent. Somewhere he would be alone. Just him. No humans, no dragons, no animals, no plants.

That was his idea of Utopia. Place where he wouldn't be able to hurt anyone. Kill anyone...

The dark haired man just continued walking in a daze. Trying not to look. He didn't want to see death that accompanied his steps.

Suddenly there was a rustling sound and a bunny jumped out of a bush. Right into the young man's path. The moment his eyes focused on the little creature, the man started wailing. "No. No. NOOOO!"

He couldn't stop it. He would take one more innocent life today. He just stood there, helplessly watching as the little white bunny's life got swallowed by black miasma. Miasma that came from his own body.

Crying, he bent down to the little white corpse and pressed it to his chest, asking it for forgiveness over and over again, until his words were only whispers stolen by light breeze ruffling his black hair and black monk robes.

Even after he had no voice to speak, he continued clutching the little lifeless fur ball to him. He used it as an anchor to remind him he had to stay in control. To fight. To find that place...

Back in his daze, he made his way deeper into forest, hopefully heading to mountains.

_A cave would be nice... _He thought solemnly. _No. There would be bats and bears._ And then he tried to think of another place and ended up talking himself out of it. He went on, reciting many possible safe havens in his head and then refusing them the next second.

It was a game to him. A game he played every day. Every single day during his long life. During the past 408 years. By now, he knew there wasn't a single place he hasn't removed from the list. Even so, he renewed the list every day. It was the only thing he could do to keep his sanity.

And so he went on, letting his feet carry him into oblivion.

Hours slowly passed and the cursed mage suddenly stopped. His eyes widened in recognition of the feeling that was building up inside him. It was close. The outburst was close.

He clenched his teeth and balled his fists. _Why? Why? Why do I have to suffer so much? I only wanted to have enough strength to protect what is important to me! _Sickening image of his father's body lying lifeless on the ground flashed before his eyes. _I wanted to protect him! _

_And in the end, I became his Death..._

Zeref let go of the animal corpse he was carrying and clutched his head, willing the images of countless deaths to disappear. It didn't work and he made himself open his eyes in hopes of not seeing the images as clearly.

His vision was blurry and he felt dizzy - signs of strong magical power outburst approaching. He tried to study his surroundings, wanting to make sure he was in a good, secluded area, before he let the deadly power expand.

It took all of his energy to get to a big oak in the middle of the tiny clearing. Then his legs gave away and he stayed there sitting on the ground with his back to the tree. His vision slowly started getting clearer. _Soon..._

That's when he saw it. A roof. He wasn't in a forest anymore. He unconsciously walked to a backyard of an enormous villa.

_can't stay here._ He knew that but he wasn't able to move even an inch.

Zeref was always trying to avoid human dwellings, not wanting to involve any innocent people in his affairs. They would try to help him and the moment they got close to him, their lives would be stolen. It has happened to him so many times...

Tips of his fingers started tingling with magic. _Soon. Very soon._ he thought bitterly, praying no one was in his vicinity.

He closed his eyes, not wanting to see the destruction he would leave behind. Instead, he focused on sounds around him. Birds chirping, few cicadas playing their love songs, gentle breeze blowing...

And a beautiful sound he hadn't heard for so long, complemented it all. It reminded him of delicate bells. So high pitched and positive... He wanted to know what it was so he concentrated on it more, ignoring everything else.

Something of his past was re-emerging, reacting to that sound. Memory so sweet and fleeting, he couldn't believe it was his. It was the day he was first shown his little brother. Such a fragile creature, crying out its displeasure in this world. His mother smiled encouragingly at him, shoving the bundle of unhappiness into his arms. The baby stopped crying a looked at him with big rounded eyes... And giggled.

_That's right. That beautiful sound... A child's laugh... _

He quickly opened his eyes, his momentary feeling of contentment vanishing in an instant.

_There is a child close!_ He pushed his body to its limit but only managed to rise few inches off the ground when he collapsed back, panting. The outburst was really close and to his horror, he found out that so is the child.

Zeref was scared. Horrified, even. He has never killed a child and that might change any moment now. He thought about yelling at that kid to run away, but it might not listen to him. Even worse, could come to him because of it.

The mage was desperately trying to hold back the outburst of deadly magic as long as he could, hoping the kid would just pass by him.

How wrong he was.

He could see a ball flying up and down, up and down all over again from where he was sitting. The kid was moving, but it was a slow progress.

Zeref was only twenty feet away from the place the child was playing. _If that child so much as turns..._ He refused to think about it.

He hoped. Something he hadn't done in a long time. He hoped the kid would just run. Run far away from him and its death.

The ball was still repeating its sequence of up and down and the mage was a bit relieved to see that the movement gained speed, making the child walk faster.

And suddenly, the ball disappeared. It didn't go up anymore. _Please, tell me the kid is holding the ball..._

Obviously, it wasn't his lucky day as the pink ball emerged from under a bush right next to the child's supposed location and stopped 14 feet away from him at the clearing.

_No. No. No. NO! NOOOO!_


	2. Lying Hope

**Author's Note: **Yuuki~desu! Hey guys! So how do you like my story so far? (I know, it was just one chappie and it was more introductory...) I've originally started this story after I tried to find some romance between Lucy and Zeref. And there was none at the time (Like four months ago...) I just find them compatible. Don't ask me why... :D Enjoy!

**Chapter 2: Lying Hope**

Like the dark mage expected, after the ball came a little child. A girl in fact.

Her blonde head suddenly appeared out of the bushes, startling him. And from the little girl's reaction, it was safe to conclude that the feeling was mutual. Her chocolate brown eyes widened in surprise when she spotted the man.

He was just sitting there, with his back against the tree's trunk, looking at her helplessly. Little blondie opened her mouth to say something to the stranger but closed it quickly when she noticed his bleeding scratches.

Zeref was trying to think of something that would make the girl run away, but nothing came to him, so he just stayed silent.

"Are you alright. Mister?" asked him the girl with an uncertain voice all the while making her way to him. "Your cheek is bleeding."

_15 seconds. _Thought the mage miserably. _It's too late. She won't make it. _So instead of yelling at her to leave him alone, he answered her.

"I'm fine. It's just a little cut." His mind was in chaos. He tried not to imagine her little body crumpled on the ground, writhing in and pain and her beatiful brown eyes slowly dulling as her soul left her shell.

"Oh." Concern in her innocent eyes faded slowly, leaving behind curiousness and a hint of suspicion.

"Who are you?" she cutely glared at him.

He thought it was only fair for her to know his name. He would kill her soon, after all.

"Zeref."

"Ze...Zel...lep." tried to repeat the girl. Zeref rose his eyebrow at her pronunciation of his name. _Is she making fun of me or is my name really that hard to say?_

"Just call me Z."

"Zee." said the blondie smiling mischievously. "It's cuter than Z."

He was dumbfounded by the girl. She just walked up to a possibly dangerous stranger and gave him a nickname. _There must be something wrong with the kid._

Her mind eased by the fact the man didn't yell at her for her stunt with his name, she ran to the oak where he was sitting, and sat down beside him.

"My name is Lucy."

His only response was a nod but the girl didn't seem to mind.

"So... Why are you so sad?"

_What? No 'Why are you here'? Just 'Why are you so sad'? _Zeref turned his head and looked at Lucy.

She looked about 14 years younger than him, making her 5. Her golden hair was tied back in a ponytail, unruly locks held in place by rose shaped hairclips. Her dress was of a similar design. It was expensive- looking, pink and with rose pattern.

She seemed like a honest, kind and cheerful kid. That made the dark mage even more depressed. _Only 9 seconds left._

"I'm sad because I'm going to hurt someone very soon."

Letting her mind process his words, she frowned at the ground.

"Then why are you going to do that if it makes you sad?"

"I don't want to. But I can't stop it." _I also can't believe I'm talking about this with a kid._

"Why?"

"I don't know how."

"Ask someone to help you. There are many people out there. Surely one of them can help you."

"I don't think so." Lucy balled her little fists at his response.

"Of course you won't find that person if you don't start looking!"

"It's useless. There is no one who can help me." _Not to mention no one would be willing to._

Lucy was so angry at the man for his pessimistic view of the world, her cheeks changed colours to red and she had to blink a few times to hold back tears of frustration. She stood up, looked down at the man and kicked his leg.

"Ouch! What was that for?" By now, Zeref was seriously weirded out by the blondie. She was smart, yet too innocent and naïve, which sometimes cancelled out her cleverness and sharp mind. Like when she sat down next to him. _I could be a kidnapper, for God's sake! _Then he stopped. _...I'm a murderer. That really isn't any better than kidnapper..._ Somehow, ever since the girl started talking to him, he kept momentarily forgetting about his curse. He felt... Normal. Like a regular person.

Guilt washed over him. _In 3 seconds everything will go back to the way it was before..._

"Because Zee is big idiot! People who stop believing are idiots!" Cried Lucy on verge of tears as she slumped to the ground, right before him. She crossed her arms on her chest trying to look tough while her shoulders shook.

Feeling like he should cheer her up, he tried to move his arm in attempt to pat her head, without success.

"Did **_you_** lose hope?" 'Zee' asked her. Something about the way she said the word made him think she wasn't as easygoing as she appeared to be.

"No." She whispered and he studied her face, intrigued by her lie.

She didn't believe in hope. At least not anymore. She was only **_trying_** to believe in its existence.

"What is your full name?" _1 second. _He had to know. To forever remember the little kind girl who was at a wrong place at a wrong time.

"Lucy Heartfilia."

_Goodbye, Lucy Heartfilia...  
_


	3. Revival of Death

**Author's Note: **Yuuki~desu! Hi guys! It seems like there really ARE some Zeref x Lucy fans! I'm delighted to know that. *winks* This story will be kind of hard to write since there is not that much known about Zeref, so try to bear with my imagination :D

I want to thank my first two reviewers: **3HaH3**and **serenedragonslayer ** Thank you guys!

Also, **serenedragonslayer **I thank you once more for also following and faithfully reviewing my other Fairy Tail story! ;)

Enjoy, guys!

**Chapter 3: Revival of Death**

He felt the deadly magic expanding in his body, then shrinking and in the end, exploding. The miasma spread through the clearing, absorbed life force and sent it back to him. He felt all that energy inside him, healing him.

Minutes passed and the magic started subsiding and dissipating into thin air. And even after it was gone, Zeref felt a slight buzz going through his body – an after effect of the absorption.

Unwillingly, he admitted that now it was time for him to inspect what he has caused. Painfully, he opened his eyes he had unconsciously closed when the outburst came.

What he saw shocked him. There were colours all around him. There wasn't a single trace of death he spread here just minutes ago. Something like this has never before happened to him and he found himself simply staring, too shocked to think about anything else.

Then he remembered something else. _The girl. _

The person in question was kneeling in front of him, calling his name repeatedly and shaking his inanimate body..

"Zee! Zee!"

His mind couldn't process it. The outburst did happen. He still felt the life force it collected in his body. But here was the girl, clueless about what happened, sitting in the middle of clearing that was just as full of life as it was before the magic explosion, shaking him vigorously.

"Lucy?"

"Zee! Are you okay? You didn't say anything for a while and you looked in pain... Are you hurt somewhere? I can call one of the maids to take a look at you."

"I-I'm okay. Don't worry. I'm not hurt." He was surprised the girl was so worried about him. It felt weird. He couldn't remember when was the last time someone actually cared about him...

Little Heartfilia girl just nodded and curled into a ball right beside him, silent sobs shaking her shoulders.

Now that he was full of energy, he had no problems moving. He patted the little girl on head reassuringly, secretly relishing at the feel of her soft hair under his palm.

_It's been so long since I touched someone living ..._

Then he felt it. It was hidden so deep inside the girl's soul he missed it the first time, but it was there.

_Life. So much life.._.

Lucy was practically overflowing with it. She carried so much vital energy inside her body, it was practically a burden on her developing physique. And it was building up, even now, while he was touching her, sucking out significant amounts of it.

_So that's what I had absorbed..._

Her mere presence at the clearing was enough to restore the energy he took from his surroundings.

By simply being here, she revived what he had killed, including herself. What's more, she did it so fast, he doubted he even killed something.

Zeref smiled to himself. The girl was indeed unique. Both her personality and abilities.

_Lucy Heartfilia... _he repeated the blondie's name in his mind.

His Utopia might not be as empty as he had believed, after all...


	4. Destination Unknown

**Author's Note: **Yuuki~desu! Hey guys! Ready for some more interaction between Lucy and Zeref? Well, here you have it! I kniw I could have gone deeper into the days they spent together, but I'm sure you all want to get to the Romance point as soon as possible and trust me, I do too. Read, Review and Enjoy!

**Chapter 4: Destination Unknown**

Zeref made the little girl promise him she wouldn't tell anyone about his presence in her manor's gardens. Though the blonde's eyes narrowed in suspicion, she agreed.

Ever since then, Lucy would come everyday to the clearing, always with a new idea of a game they could play or a topic to talk about.

Their conversations varied, depending on circumstances and the other's mood, but they mostly talked either about mages or Lucy's cold father.

It took Zeref a while to gain enough of the girl's trust for her to confide in him, but when she did, he was astonished she managed to keep smiling so cheerfully. Many times over his long life he had seen dysfunctional families and the effect this environment had on the kids. The way little blondie coped with the situation only made him admire her more, if it was even possible.

Her innocence and positive attitude to life drew him like a moth to flame and it scared him. She was a kid after all.

In the end, after six months of their shared company, Zeref decided to set out. It was time for him to leave to girl. Hopefully, she would forget all about him and live a long blessed life. Not for a second did he doubt she deserved it.

"B-but, Zee! You said we were friends!" sniffled Lucy, crystal tears running down her cheeks.

Sighing, the black-haired man knelt down before her, patting her head fondly. "We still are, Lucy. But I have to go now. I can't stay here any longer."

"Why not?" asked the sweet girl, her chocolate orbs pleading him to change his mind.

Zeref shook his head, sad smile stretching on his face. "It's better this way. I should have never come here."

Lucy hiccuped, reaching out for the white sash of his robes.

"I'm sorry, Lucy. You should just forget about me and find other, better friends." Gently, he pried her little fingers from his sash, turning her back to her.

"I don't want other friends! I only need Zee!"

Zeref continued walking, not stopping even when her next heartbreaking words came.

"I hate you, Zee-baka!" After a few seconds of hesitation, the little girl turned the opposite way and ran back to the Heartfillia manor.

_Now I've done it. _ His shoulders slumped in defeat.

_The only friend I've made in 400 years and she tells me she hates me. _

Of course, the black mage was aware Lucy was just trying to strike a chord within him, to make him turn back and ask for her forgiveness and promise to stay, but he couldn't do it.

He was the Black Mage Zeref, after all. He would only be a burden to his little friend. Maybe not now, but in the future, surely.

Even more so when she desired to pursue her dream of becoming a Celestial Spirit mage and join a mage's guild. He would be a stain on her record and a danger to her life if some of his crazed followers found out about their connection.

Disgusted with himself and disappointed with his life, he let the forest shadows engulf him and hide him from the world's sight as he made his way towards the destination unknown.


End file.
